Sunday, April 1, 2012

Audrey the Star





This morning I said goodbye to Audrey. She didn’t say goodbye to me, though, because she was already dead.


Today, and for a very long time to come, I will mourn her death. People who know me know that I have a house full of animals. At this count, 4 dogs, 2 cats, 1 bird, and 34 rabbits. That means that death strikes this house much more often than I would like. On the other hand, and I am not ashamed to admit this, some animals are a much more important part of my life than others, and yes, some animals I love more than I do others. That means that I grieve some more than others. Audrey was one of those animals.


Audrey was a small white rabbit with pink eyes who came to me a little less than a year ago. She was dropped off at an animal shelter with a broken back, and was rescued by a rescue group called Zooh Corner Rabbit Rescue. Zooh arranged for one of their volunteers to drive Audrey to my home in New Mexico.


Since arriving here last year, tiny Audrey has played a huge role in the life of this house. She was a brave, big-hearted, and fierce girl. Afraid of nothing, she explored the house with her custom-made cart, and, when the cart was unusable because she chewed through its harness, she simply crawled everywhere in her little athletic sock which protected her trailing feet and back end.
She loved to tease Igor, one of the living room rabbits, because she knew that he had a crush on her and that it pissed his girlfriend Charlotte off when he spent time with her. She also teased the guest room bunnies, Max and Maggie, because Maggie used to go wild with anger whenever Audrey slipped into her room in her cart. She also loved to go out into the courtyard, where the big group of rabbits plays, and watch them from her side of the rabbit gate.


But what she really loved was to go camping. I’ve written here in the past about bringing Audrey with us on camping trips, where, thanks to the protection of her sock (and a 70 square foot play area created by a set of collapsible ex-pens that we bring) she gets to explore each new campsite. In the past year, Audrey’s been to the desert, the snow, the beach, and even the Rocky Mountains, and relishes each new set of smells, sights, and experiences. Her joy on these trips adds immeasurably to my and my husband’s joy, as we watch her sniffing, eating, meditating, and even binkying in each new place.


I still can’t believe she’s gone. As a writer, my first impulse when someone close to me dies is to write about it. I don’t know how healthy it is, or whether I do so to stave off the intense pain of the grief which I know is coming, but I feel like I need to immediately put into words some of the life of the one who just left. I want everyone to know that she was here, and that her life mattered.


In the case of Audrey, she was so full of life that it seemed at times like that 2 and a half pound body just could not hold it all in. Rabbits don’t normally vocalize, but Audrey did, all the time. She wanted us to know who she was, how she was feeling, and what she wanted.
But now she’s quiet.


I have always told people that Audrey was a star. She had loads of friends on Bunspace, the social networking site for rabbits, and recently we had just signed with a new literary agency; my new agent is pitching a book about Audrey to publishers. I pictured us traveling to the Today Show and having Audrey grunt at Al Roker.


Audrey really was a star, though, even though she’ll never get to be on tv now. She was a shooting star—bright, full of light, and now gone.

12 comments:

  1. Audrey will always be a star Margo!! She was such a special bun, and lucky to have you adopt her and give her all the love and care she needed!!

    much love to you,
    Sjoukje, Benito & Charlie

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  2. So sorry to hear of your loss but at least she's in an equally if not more so, happy place where she can run, jump and camp to her hearts content! It sounds like you two had a very special bond and it's lovely you both enjoyed so many happy memories together.

    Kathryn

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  3. And through your writing, your blogs stories, videos, Audrey will be mourned by many. Her shinging light touched many and will be remebered by many. Thank you for sharing her with us.
    Elana

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  4. I remember when you took her for us at ZC. We knew she was going to a loving home. We just didn't know how special she would turn out to be. Thank you both so much for the quality of life you gave her.

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  5. I am very sorry, Margo. I hope that the pain will fade and the memories of the love will live forever.

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  6. All of us here at TooManyBunnies feel you loss Margo. We send you love and are greatful that you had the time you did with such a special soul. You will meet again - we are sure of that.

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  7. Your loving memorial of Audrey touches me deeply, Margo. I'm honored to know about Audrey's life and liveliness, and about your love and admiration of her.
    I just lost my bun-son Darby. The pain of his absence follows me around, reminding me how much I love him.
    Healing hugs to you, my friend.
    ~Karen

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  8. Margo, I'm so sorry that Audrey is gone. I laughed at her antics in the bunny cart on videos you shared, and could tell how close she was to your heart. Jennifer and I were just talking about how special some of the girls are to us. We know how you feel. Hugs and love to you and your family; may Audrey shine bright in your memories and bring laughter through the tears.

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  9. Thank you for sharing Audrey's story, and the wonderful life you were able to give her. Her bigger than life personality is definitely going to leave an empty spot in your heart. They are with us for too short of a time, but to them---it's a lifetime. And her lifetime with you was a well-spent one.

    my heartfelt sympathy,
    Chris

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  10. Beautiful tribute to a beautiful bunny. Godspeed on your new journey Audrey.

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  11. How wonderful that you took Audrey in , and she gave you so much! Its been great just following her from all the rescues to you and seeing how much you loved her. I hope the book about her gets written and published so I can read it to my grandkids and tell them about you and the House Rabbit Society!

    Blessings!
    vicki (www.bunnygroomer.com)

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  12. Such a wonderful piece about Audrey. You are an angel to care for her, and she was and is an angel too. Rabbits RULE!
    DIANE

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